Unconceivable! Unbelievable! It’s the Run-D.M.C. Drinking Game, invented for all you old school rap fans out there. Forget rocking a rhyme – remembering who you are and where you live will be the real trick once you get this one started!

Directions: grab a copy of Run-D.M.C.’s greatest hits. Pick up a sixer. Follow the rules below. Watch your blood alcohol level rise faster than “Walk This Way.”

Have fun, all you sucker m.c.s!

Take a sip…

Every time they say/spell their names
Every time D.M.C. mentions his academic history
Every time D.M.C. tells you what his name stands for
Every time you hear James Brown or Sam Kinison
Every time you hear a member of a washed-up Seventies rock band screaming
Every time a guitar solo goes on way too long

Chug…

Every time you hear one of the Monkees
Every time they start rapping about fairy tale characters
Every time Run mentions a popular McDonald’s menu item
Every time Run mentions a retired basketball player
Every time a guest rapper shows up

Finish your beer…

Every time Run mispronounces “shish-ka-bob”
Every time D.M.C. mentions Live Aid
Every time you hear sleigh bells

Fill your pool with booze and drown yourself…

Every time they reference an M.C. Hammer song
Every time they use the “n” word

James Greene Jr writes the Crawling Ear column every Wednesday; read his last one here.